Mamma, why are girls beautiful?

There is something about preschoolers, isn’t it? The questions fly quickly, sometimes too fast for a baffled mom to keep up; ‘Why shouldn’t children watch too much TV mamma. What is “too much” TV?’ ‘How did that building get so tall Mamma?’ ‘How does Santa know if we have been a good child or a bad one?’ and so on and so forth.

I recently read an old article about a story from France where a 52-year-old mother took parenting to different pinnacles. Wearing Converse boots, tight flashy jeans and excessive makeup, she impersonated as her 19-year-old daughter and tried to take the English exam on her behalf. She got away with this for whole 10 minutes! (* slow clap *).

I'm dismayed by parents who get disappointed when their children don't become engineers or doctors or whichever career they had wished for them. I also know that we all have aspirations for the kind of personality our children will become. We want them to be compassionate. We expect them to be intellectual. A sense of humor would be nice perhaps.

What triggered me to write this post however was a casual conversation between a few of my friends recently. I was mentioning to them about how my son is very curious and asks too many questions – which actually have answers. For instance “Why are girls beautiful mamma? Why should boys tell them that they are beautiful? (Well, yes! He has heard my husband compliment me several times). One of the lady from the group sarcastically remarked made an impolite and not-so-nice comment, “Really? Thank God, my son is “shareef” (a Hindi terminology for being naïve – and not daring to ask “such” questions). It had me thinking. Not that, the comment affects me in any way - I know my child, trust him and happy for what he is.  

When Ahaan was born, my husband and I contemplated what his traits will be. But we cared less about what he will be. However, to be honest what I was conscious about was – what if he is incurious? What if he doesn't want to explore what an alpine mountain looks like or what sun, moon and stars are made of? What if he remains obstinately uninterested in why skies are blue or where did Dinosaurs go? What if he regards all that "Why" and "How" as, principally futile? Yes, I do agree that sometimes too many questions to get exasperating, but I'd rather my son asked too many questions than too few?! The only thing worse than explaining you child about how babies are made would be a child who didn't even want to know?

But if Ahaan’s curiosity level is high, that doesn't imply it always will be. Curiosity is an impulsive quality, which increases and decreases throughout our life, depending on where we are, what we are doing and who we're with. This is both comforting and intimidating. Comforting because it turns out that we, as parents, play a big part in the development of our kids’ curiosity. Intimidating because doing so includes a constant and cognizant effort. I wonder why some parent discourage questions from their children? “Shhh... That’s not for your age”, “You’re too young to know that” or just “I don’t know!”

Luckily, my husband and I answer everything that our son asks us. The reason being that by the time children from curious families go to school, they have an edge on their peers. Having immersed themselves in more information from their parents and family, they obviously know more, which implies they find it easier to learn and absorb more. Parent play a pivotal role in early years of children in determining whether they will become curious youngsters and curious grownups.

Part of the magic of childhood is the capacity to get lost in the realms of discovery and imagination. Nurturing our children’s curiosity will only fortify our connection and help them grow.  I am glad for my son’s curiosity for it compels him to connect with the world, reach out and test its frontiers, discover where they end and everything else starts. 

I am still a parent in preparation - I don't know what constitutes the stars, or why Dinosaurs disappeared after the Big Bang. I'm not even sure I know why the sky is blue to be honest? But I do have some answers. So yes, Ahaan – It’s good to, once in a while,  tell a girl that she is beautiful. But say it only when you really mean it, my son. Just like your dad.

Happy Growing Up, My Curious George! Mamma is geared up with answers.

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