Thursday, August 7, 2014
And its your birthday again...
Friday, November 1, 2013
Lead us to Light - Happy Diwali!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
A Letter to the Father of my Son
Happy Father's Day |
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
And He Turns 2!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Mom -to-Mom
Monday, February 6, 2012
Where are those Days?

Wondering...
Where are those days
when we could
put an upturned
container on our heads
and act as if to
we were a fireman
or a dreamer
or robot?
Where are those days
when we could
giggle absurdly
and roll on the ground
accredited to a
fart or burp
or other bodily sounds which seemed so funny.
Where are those days
when droplets
enthralled us and
the famous “Chanda mama” excited us
no end; when a
fountain was all
we required to
make our world complete.
Where are those days
when everything was
new-fangled and held a hope
when we didn’t know
what tomorrow will bring
but we knew it
would be as happy
as today?
Where are those days
when we candidly
hugged
and kissed
those who made us
feel loved and unique.
Where are those days when
the loss of a favorite pencil
was life’s leading catastrophe
of our lives
and the acquirement
of a new one
our biggest victory.
Where are those days when
we could chuckle
and weep wantonly
when we could
love with
paramount fervor
when we could
pick ourselves up
dust ourselves off
and continue
with the same
zeal.
Where are those days when
we didn’t know
the significance
of intolerance
goal
aspiration
principle
remorse
hate
sorrow
envy
or adversity?
Where are those days
when our life
was uncomplicated
our requirements fundamental
our wishes
confined to a chocolate
and one more ride
on a giant wheel.
Where are those days
when we were
actually, really, truly
contented.
When we lived
the meaning of
contentment
and didn’t just
read superficial quotes about them
on internet, to post them on Facebook.
PS – This post is a consequence of a nostalgic frame of mind, while going through some of my random lines that I wrote in a diary – The days, when we actually knew how to write with a pen.
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Auteur
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Imperfect Love

I often wonder and realize that I am encircled by couples that are happily married, neck down deep in love. Syrupy sweet quotes are shared, inclusive with yearning glimpses and an affectionate brush of the other’s hand. They tender a non-thrashing pillar of support for each other’s endeavors. They share bizarre Facebook status updates about being “blessed” by the “greatest hubby/wifey in the world” etc. ( Oh Btw, I simply abhor that term ‘Hubby’- makes me feel repulsive)
Well, thankfully, my ‘husband’ and I are not that duo.
I have been married for 4 years and have known my husband as my childhood friend since longer than that I have known him since a long time now and now after heading rapidly towards old age, gray hairs, joint pains et al, I can pompously say that I do look forward to growing old with him now.
I’m going to be honest here. We are growing old. We argue. We criticize. We bicker. We just know which keys to twist and twist the hell out of them at times. We are basically an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond couple – Debra and Ray - devoid of the laughing track in the backdrop
It’s not alluring. It’s not ideal. It’s not perfect and infact it may not even be normal, but it’s - us. At times, I doubt, have I really settled in life? Am I just contented? Should I wish more?
And guess what - sometimes, I do seek more. Much more.
It’s human to pursue rosy dreams of perfect contentment. I would have loved moonlit walks on a beach, hand in hand, being pampered with roses everyday and told how beautiful I was and put on a podium each day. But that’s not my truth. One naughty 14 month old toddler son, several wakeful nights to tot up, piles of clothes to be folded, loads of toys to be kept back in the toybox several times a day, meals to be cooked, fed and cleaned thereafter, carpet to be cleaned, spill overs to be taken care of. Infact I also secretly wish that they come up with a vacuum cleaner I can ride on?! This is my reality.
Just when I feel I’ve reached the end of my patience and can’t bear it anymore, I’m hit with the luster of a brand new day, the smell of my morning tea, my son’s brightly lit smile first thing in the morning, or the way my husband plays soothing devotional songs first thing in the morning, the smell of incense stick - and I’m back in it again- rehabilitated- for the next few hours, at least.
Perfect contentment? Perhaps not.
He’s seen me at my ugliest best – He has seen my stretch marks shape and grow. I’ve witnessed his hairline slither and still seeing them turn gray. Our romantic getaways to a nearby coffee shop have been replaced by a smoothie and fries at Mc Donalds and regular grocery/diaper shoppings. I’ve mocked at his funny actions and candid pics (revealing them often on Facebook) and he’s laughed at me with my green monster looking facepack on and clicked my pics while I have been sleeping with my mouth wide open. It may not always be beautiful but we have a story, history, reminiscences, and an imperfect but wonderful life that we built- together.
He may not be my Prince Charming and I’m most likely not his Princess, but this man, he’s a wonderful husband and a great father. We both have abnormal sense of humor and love to laugh at our friends and everyone in general and also embarrass our son sometimes. On Fridays, devoid of friends and parties, we both relish enjoying a drink together alongwith some grilled sandwiches and a serial on the TV ( Yes, he loves watching them all) – We may not be perfect, but we remain convinced that we are perfect for each other and most of the times, that’s good enough.
Here is what my acumen says.
Life doesn’t always churn out the way you expect it to be. And that’s not essentially a bad thing at all.
Anshul, I may not be perfect and you may not be perfect - and that's perfectly fine. I love our imperfections as much as I love you.
Happy 4th Marriage Anniversary.
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Auteur
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Whispers of Childhood Footsteps

When I was a child
I did not have games replicating the outdoors and indoors.
When I was a child I did not have Dora and Barney to amuse me
So I would eat my food devoid of amusement.
When I was a child I did not have each component of my life visually categorized.
When I was a child I did not adorn knee armaments and helmets while riding my cycle
And I enjoyed falling and hurting myself.
When I was a child I did not eat chips with tomato sauce and cold drink and almost never needed
Pasta, burgers and pizzas as incentives to eat.
When I was a child I did not have a timetable for eating, dancing, playing, and singing.
And everything that was in between.
When I was a child I did not doubt my parents’ decrees and decisions.
When I was a child I did not have a fancy mobile phone to always fidget with while dining with family.
When I was a child I did not require Archie-formed days in order to be grateful for those whom I valued
In My life.
When I was a child I did not ruin my eyes, while continuously looking at screens – of computer, TV,
Or the phone or a gaming console.
When I was a child I did not lock the world out with headphones connected to ingenious iPods.
When I was a child I found friends in the neighborhood, not on Facebook and Twitter
When I was a child my life was uncomplicated: the kinds with slight anxiety and even slighter peripheral stimulus.
When I was a child, Disney World’s rides didn’t excite me as much as a ride with my dad on his scooter.
When I was a child I was contented with just a single television channel and a shared home-prepared
Meal and didn’t feel the need for WII or the Xbox.
When I was a child I found gratification in small things like making doll houses or playing with clay.
When I was a child I lived like most children do – Unrestrained, carefree and naive.
When I was a child I was just that –
A child
Not a little grown-up.
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Auteur
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Happy Birthday, Auteur! You’re 3 Years Old!

It’s been 3 years today since I pounded those important first words on this blog:
“First Post”
Yep, 3 years ago today I took a deep stride into these mystifying waters, completely unaware to what I was getting into. I still fell rather oblivious but am overwhelmed and astounded at just how much this little virtual space has developed. At the outset, this blog was a method to get my mind off random ramblings in my life and also to have a creative channel to append some splendor to my life when it felt deficient of just that. It has transformed into so much more now. How can I show gratitude to all of you for making this far more fun than I could have imagine, is what I wonder at the moment.
Anyway, yet again, thank you to all my blog readers for stopping over, remarking, encouraging, appreciating and coming back! I perhaps would have given up this a long time ago but am having too much fun to quit! Here's to one more year of sharing my thoughts and life with all of you and contemplating where this blog will take me further.
Here’s to an added ten years, an additional half a million words, and much more learning of life as it is.
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Auteur
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Come Grow Old with Me – the Best is yet to Be!

Today as Anshul and I celebrate the two blessed and blissful years of – Love, companionship, joys, sorrows and loads of brawls, I have a lot to reflect back on in these two years. When I got engaged to Anshul, people often told me – enjoy this phase – It’s your honeymoon phase. A year later I realized that honeymoon phase takes a backseat while the, married life commences. Pulling through the initial few years of marriage may take more hard work and effort than a duo anticipates. I have learnt a lot in these two years of marriage. Some of my observations are as follows.
First thing that I have learnt is that there’s something that all us wedded people can do better for each other and that is - being a rock for your partner. At times, life gets in the path of marriage and love but it’s significant to bear in mind that we require to be there for our partner, at all times, come what may. And on the reverse, we have to let our partners be there for us. None of us are an island; None of can do it on our own. Everybody needs somebody. At the nucleus of the subject is the most minimally compound emotional – love. Devoid of love, nothing in a marriage works. Feasible? Maybe. Victorious? Never.
Ever seen the film Shrek? Recall the song that plays when Princess Fiona is just going to marry that little guy? It’s Hallelujah sung by Rufus Wainwright .There’s a verse in that song that I feel each married person should keep in his/her heart. It - “Love is not a victory march”
When you love somebody, you walk the path as one. It’s about receiving joy from making that same someone contented. It’s knowing they are as contented for your achievements as they are for their own. It’s about requesting for assistance without embarrassment. Love isn’t a trial of wills – it’s about faith. Faith that your partner will always have lend you his/her back….faith that they will let you distinguish when you’re erroneous and knowing how to tell you without devastating your courage. It’s knowing when to go forward and when to let go. Love’s like a ballet where you both guide and still manage to look elegant.
So my verdict on What is marriage after 2 years of blessed matrimony? Well, for me It’s hammering nails, washing bathrooms and vacuuming carpets. It’s saving a buck by shopping at sales . . . It’s harmonizing checkbooks and paying off bills… it’s wiping the windows and mopping the spills. It’s washing clothes together and matching up our socks.... Its two hectic timetables but one happy life shared by a loving husband and wife.
Marriage is not about the commencement; marriage is about the progression and yet being able to love through all the peaks and valleys.
Wishing you a very Happy Marriage Anniversary. May we learn much more!
I love you Anshul.
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Auteur
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
One More Star Up In The Sky
It’s been a year since you’re gone but it just feels like yesterday, when I called to talk to you only to find out that you were no more.
Tonight, when I look up at the stars, I do not consider them as stars. I look at them as porch lights, welcoming you safely in your dwelling .I have this sense that there's one extra star up in the sky tonight. And although it's at a far-flung distance, its brilliance and affection still reach us here to make the nighttime a little less shadowy, a little less gloomy.
Thinking of you with Love and Fond Memories, Papa.
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Auteur
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Down the Memory Lane on Children's Day
• Race implied disagreeing about who ran the quickest.
• Monetary matters were dealt by whoever was the financier in Monopoly.
• It wasn't peculiar to have more than one best friend. (I had 4 – Anju, My sis, my mom and God!)
• Being aged denoted anyone more than the age of 20.
• You could find out if somebody loved you enough by plucking flower petals.
• Decisions were taken by singing out aloud or mind thinking - “teeny-meeny-miney-mo."
• It was magical when dad’s pockets would pop out candies.
• No one was more beautiful than Mommy. (For me, still no one is!)
• Injuries and bruises were kissed by mommy or daddy and made fine.
• It was a huge deal to at last be big and tall enough to ride the "only for big people" rides at the children’s park.
• Wholehearted lifetime promises and commitments were completed with cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die.
• Sunday mornings invariably meant taking a bath and watching Ramayana or Mahabharata.
• One “katti” would lead to minutes of hostility between friends while one “mucchi” would mean friendship for a lifetime.
• Whirling around, getting woozy and falling down would lead to irrepressible giggles.
• Water balloons were the eventual weapon.
• Consuming medicines meant orange-savored chewable calcium tablets.
• A lie didn't add up if our fingers were crossed.
• Cakes, pastries, chocolates and ice creams were thought to be a fundamental food group.
This one's dedicated to all my lil angels - Pogu, Eva, Ira, Akshaya, Siyo, Aditi, Gauri, Navya,Pranav,Aditya, Ajinkya, Manya and all the lovely adorable kids in this world. Happy Children’s Day to all. Let’s always keep the child within us alive.
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Auteur
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Light a lamp, dismiss the gloom
As the countdown to Diwali began, my social networking accounts beamed up like a miraculous city, which had been turned on by an invisible hand. My apartment building lit up luminously with neon lights and various beautifully done rangolis and of oil-lit earthen lamps enclosed patios and ramparts, staircase and yards of apartments.
This was the first time however, when my heart refused to welcome Diwali – A festival I have always keenly looked forward to for this year Diwali bought many memories. The most memorable memoirs of Diwali I have are the ones spent during my early days. That’s when my father got everything that could be called new – clothes, Laxmi Ganesh idols, mitahis, crackers et al. That was then. This year, however when I lived through the dawn of Diwali , I couldn’t avoid but recall persistently the dialogue I had with my father on the eve of Diwali few years back. While conversing about the various Indian festivals and their probable genesis, he also shared his views about the Diwali. He said, "Like a tiny lamp that brightens its tiny environs, a strip of tiny lamps brightens larger environs. Likewise an individual can brighten his environs; while an organized act - allegory to several lamps organized in rows - can brighten up the cosmos."
Last year’s Diwali was special for me – as it was my first after marriage and also because it was the first time that my father sent me mitahis. Given that I had never been away from my house before that on any of my Diwalis. My father sent me Diwali mithais and card with a pack of floating candles to light up my house, from across the seven seas. It was the first time ever. He also sent me a note which read “Hope this finds you both in pink of health. Sorry Manasi, couldn’t send you the guavas (he knows my love for UP ke amrood ) along due to packing problems. Anyways, next time. Happy Diwali. Enjoy it. Tons of Love – Papa”.
It’s been a year since he left us and it’s been hard for us (my mother, sister and me especially) as it all happened a few days after Diwali. All this while, I kept wondering what that implied. But now I feel it means something…. In its symbolism, Diwali advocates people to conquer their fears and personality imperfections that keep us from gratifying our actual potential. So to say, it enlightens us to chase off the shadows that clouds all of our spirits. So as my mom, sister and I recall all the Diwalis in the past and the ones ahead of us, and we endeavor to be what my father worked his whole life to offer us the prospect to be: sturdy women with vivid futures. The fact is that life has to move on and although now and then it can be insufferably agonizing and a sluggish progression, yet we must not give up hope and embrace joys where we get them. I have often heard the cliché about time being the biggest healer and I truly expect it to be true.
Happy Diwali to you Papa, still waiting for the sweets this year!
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Auteur