My Dear Ahaan,
As you turn 6 years old
today, I have so much to say to you! So I am writing, yet another letter to
you, hoping someday when you grow up, you cherish and understand these letters
I write to you each year, on your birthday.
I remember all your
milestones. Learning to turn on the other side. Learning to crawl. Learning to
stand. Learning to walk and then run. I checked the boxes on those
easy-to-define triumphs. I even got anxious when you did not reach a milestone
on the time I expected you to. Nevertheless, I soaked it all in and my new Mamma’s
heart and swelled with pride and respite as the proofs mounted that you were
gaining the abilities you needed to survive in this world.
The milestones from here are
less demarcated. There are no agendas or checklists.
It’s no longer about learning
how to sit or stand, but “when” to sit or stand. Politeness—simplifying
another’s encumbrance, putting some else’s well-being ahead of your own, showing
small compassion, showing that you see
others and reckon them to be of value—is a gift the world needs, my dear son. Offering your seat to someone, for instance? But
the rules for doing so are not based on a modest procedure of age and gender. They are complex. You need to understand when offering your
seat would wound delicate pride. You need to watch for circumstances where a
person’s requirement to be perceived as proficient, surpasses the necessity for
comfort. It’s complicated.
Someday, you will sit in your
class and your teacher will familiarize you with Robert Frost’s poem ( perhaps
in German !) about two roads deviating
in a yellow wood. Your teacher will tell you that what Frost wrote was infact
true. Our choices in life matter. You will think you comprehend. But it will be
my responsibility to tell you that Frost was writing about the “best case
scenario”. Life’s junctures are hardly simple forks in the road with two distinct
choices. Life’s junctures are congested and the road less travelled is dense
and easy to miss. Choices don’t proclaim themselves. Outlining instants disguise
themselves in our daily routine. Superficially small choices are chances: to
smile or not, to talk or keep quiet, to stay within or step out from your
comfort zone, today or tomorrow.
You will learn so much in the
years to come Ahaan, that you will be surprised. Trial and error will be your ultimate
educator. You will be injured. You will be scrapped. You will get bumps that
swell to an upsetting size. That’s part of the growing up my son. Injured knees,
means you’re doing it right.
Along the way, you will look
up to me for most of the answers answers. I might not have always them.
But, I still would love to hear the questions.
And when there are new
learnings along the way, it will hurt me to watch you go through the ones that
will make you sad. But I will be at peace as you will learn them at your own
terms, not because I stood in the way and tried to make you see life through my
eyes. On the contrary, I am trying to see life a little more and much better
through your eyes these days, and I am thankful for your vision.
Happy
birthday Ahaan. I love you. Thank you for teaching me, bit by bit, a little
more about how to live this beautiful life.
Love,
Your Mom
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