When you notice my child having a complete throw-down temper
tantrum in the mall, stop assuming he is just ill-mannered and throwing a fit
because I refuse to buy him something.
When you notice my child howling and me standing there not soothing
him, stop assume it’s because I’m a callous parent.
When you notice my child sitting in a posh restaurant playing on
my iPhone, stop assuming I am a bad mother who has given all sorts of digital
technology to him to keep him busy.
When you notice my child walk through the road with a backpack
leash on him, stop assuming it’s because I’m a lethargic mother who can’t manage
and tame my toddler.
Mothers - We exist in a reality very diverse from yours.
A mall, where one has to typically walk a lot, my son feels
bored too quickly and reacts by screaming, trying to attract my attention
because he is too tired/hungry and wants to go home. Why would he be interested
in grocery shopping anyways?
When he is crying and distressed, at times it is also because of
tiredness or hunger. For me to yell at him and ask him to be quiet would
only make him feel worse. So I sit next to him. Not touch him.
Not saying anything. And wait for him to start to cool down. Then I
quickly try to redeploy his attention on something pleasant for him, just to
divert his attention.
You may feel, I spoil him with digital gadgets like iPods etc,
but with educative apps loaded with coloring / counting / alphabet games and his
favorite videos is an effective escape for him and also something to keep him
busy.
You may think that leashing kids is done by parents who have
lost the capacity to control their kids. We are dealing with toddlers – active,
always on the run energetic kids. So to leash them in a crowded place is only
to assure that they do not get lost while running and playing around
So the next time you notice my child, or any child for that matter, acting out; the
next time you notice parents who are not parenting their kids, the way you
think or feel they should; stop and ponder.
We moms often face incredible burden to make “perfect” parenting
choices, only to being criticized by other non-parents and sometimes even
parents. From choosing to resume work or what to feed your child, to the best
ways to educate and discipline, everybody seems to have an opinion!
Sometimes kids are disorderly, noisy and playful. Sometimes
they’re such angels that its hard to believe. However kids are acting in
public, let’s leave the judging alone, and offer a sociable, compassionate
smile to the pregnant mother who’s trying to finish her grocery list with 2 kids.
Let’s learn to laugh when someone else’s kid runs into us when we’re perilously
balancing a crate of wine bottles. Let’s just mostly have more pardoning hearts
and a sense of fun when it comes to other people’s kids, and leave the
parenting to them.
I have no clue about your life. Please don’t assume you
know anything about mine and stop judging me on my parenting skills. Oh, btw do
you even have a kid? Ah! I guess not. Because you clearly do not have the
courage it takes to mother a child. It entails far more than passing futile judgments.
When you judge a person, it doesn’t define who they are. It defines who you
are.
PS – This post was driven by a random conversation with colleague
who doesn’t have children, actually hates them and yet took the liberty to
judge me on my parenting skills.
Keep Reading!
Auteur
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