Maa Kasam!!

Ever wondered, what does one do on a perfectly boring day? This question, am sure can lead to an array of interesting answers, but for a movie buff ( read freak) like me, watching a masala Bollywood Flick is a great way to unwind. So you either get a DVD or become a criminal and watch the pirated version on the World Wide Web. Lately, while watching few flicks, however, I was pondering that something has been missing from the Hindi Cinema these days. After scratching my head for some time, I realized they were those Old typical conventional dialogues

There are so many things we miss from those dialogues. Let’s explore!

MAAA (****elongated*****) - How we miss the hostage held hero’s pitiable “maa” by that wicked-looking baddie and the vulnerable heroine’s dance in front of the gangsters! The meager "tied-to-the-pole" maa was then asked to save one of her two sons, to which she would retort with the very old dialogue "Dushtt, tu kya jaane maa ki mamta main kitni taaqat hoti hai" ( Scoundrel, what would you know about the power of motherhood) and then the two sons would plead the maa to save the other son saying, "Maa, tujhe meri kasam, tu bhai ko bacha le",( Mom, swear by me to save my brother) .Well, eventually we realize there was no need to worry as maa’ ki "mamta" threat went in vain , after all as both the sons are saved!

KUTTEY (***beep beep*****)-Yet again famous dialogue usually uttered by the meek and fragile heroin -"Kutte, kameene mujhe chor de"( Dog, wicked man, leave me). Here the addressee obviously was the “instantly ready to kidnap women” baddie. To this, the baddie would respond, with a loud chuckle) "Ab dekhta hoon tujhe bachane kaun ayega"( Now I will see who will come to save you). To this situation, the Hero would break in from God knows where and make a barrier breaking entry, announcing aloud ( like a public speech) –“ Main Aa gaya hoon".( I have arrived)

KAMEENE (****beep beep****) -unaccompanied he would whip all the "bad Men" and would jump at the bad guy with the unchanged conventional d “Kameene , main tujhe zinda nahin chorunga" ( Bugger, I won’t leave you alive). Following that there would be devoted villain's team mates pleading for forgiveness from their leader by retorting "Malik, humne aapka namak khaya hai",!!!(Master, we ate your salt)They would however be in dilemma if their master turned out to be someone like Gabbar who very effortlessly responded to such things with calm, "Ab Goli kha( Eat bullets now) and you believed that iodized salt was low-priced?

KANOON’S HANDS ARE LONG! Finally the cops arrive with, "Police ne tumhe charon taraf se gher liya hai, Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hain".( Cops have surrounded you from four angles, our hands are very long you see) Oh yeah! I suppose everyone knows that those hands never elongate to grip the criminals.

DAWA NAHIN DUA ( Toing Toing Toing!) –Most of us can recall this dialogue of the characters in pallid doctor’s costumes, retorting with full emotions, while trying to cure a the bruised or ailing character," Usse dawa nahin, dua ki zaroorat hai"( He needs prayers , not medicines). Sure doc! What a great way to shirk the responsibility to our dear God!

GOOD IS THE WINNER -Well you see malevolence never wins ( at least in Bollywood)! Contrast to this the bitter dialogue from one of the new-fangled films, "Wo kabhi jeeta nahin kyunki wo mujhe harana chahta tha aur main kabhi haara nahin kyunki main humesha jeetna chahta tha." Perplexed?! Doesn't that seem like a tongue twister?

BACCHE KI MAA -It would not be complete without this one though , with our distressed heroine claiming “Mein tumhaare bachche ki maa banane waalee hun! “(I'm going to become your kid's mother) and our stunned , zapped and astonished Hero retorting in shock :” Kyaaaaa!?” (With a I'm-in-deep-shit-now look)
(WTF?!)

Feeling lost, bored or nostalgic? The fact remains that most of us have grown up watching these filmy fundas since our childhood and thus it is easy to predict the dialogues beforehand! However, regardless of having a devoted person writing the dialogues, most of them are quite prosaic and used repetitively in most hindi films .Yet some phrases like ‘Mere Paas Maa Hai ’ go beyond the clichés and survive in our reminiscences. So grab hold of an old hindi film DVD of now and enjoy!

Mogambo Khush Hua!!

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