Sorrow washes away fetching sanguinity for tomorrow

No one comes to this world to live forever

But no one leaves the world in quite your manner

For once, death, too, must have been disconcerted

For no one has embraced death in quite your manner

I fear lest the ocean may be blotted up

For no one sprinkles their ashes in quite your manner

You bore a grudge against the tavern-keeper

For no one slakes their thirst with poison, in quite your manner

I accept that you were saved by the light

But no one extinguishes the lamp in quite your manner

No one comes to this world to live forever

But no one leaves the world in quite your manner

(English adaptation of poetry by Kaifi Azmi )

….And the lamp which lit brightly extinguished forever. This year ended with my greatest loss ever. A loss that can never be fulfilled. A loss that has bought in a void forever.

The loss of my father was a forceful event filled with grief, tears, faith, and desolation. It was a time of catastrophe that unlocked a window of chance for me and my family to come to know who we are and face our susceptibility.

Bereavement as I understand is a progression. I seem to rotate through them a number of times. The four errands of bereavement are acceptance, rage and sorrow, and reconstructing my life with a new place in it for my father’s reminiscence. Feeling accountable can also be part of the antagonism process if you turn your rage in on yourself. Lots of people are furious with God for taking their beloved away and often more furious with the departed as well for abandoning them. But I am neither furious with God nor with my father for leaving me behind. For I know the truth is that my father wouldn't have left me if he could have helped it.

Everyone said Goodbye to him as he closed his eyes and lay on the cold floor. But I know God had a plan. I did not bid adieu to him for I know he is not gone. He is there around me and will always be…Like a shadow who would guide me through on all the tribulations of life, who would share my joys and be happy as if they were his own, who would wipe my tears and stop them from rolling down my cheeks and who would love me like the way he has always loved me.

I dwelt at the rim of commotion and thus use the prospect as best I could to stimulate recomposing myself and my family to articulate our anguish and for our own healing. As the weeks pass we continue to rebuild our lives as a part of our long journey of becoming that which we truly are.

As a wise man once said “When the tides of life turn against you and the current upsets your boat, don’t waste those tears on what might have been. Just lie on your back and float.”

Mourning rinses bringing in buoyancy for a better tomorrow....

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