We are Indians. We are Hypocrites. We are like this only.

We are Indians. We are hypocrites. We say something. We do something else. We anticipate something completely different. We are like this only.

Why do I say this – Well, because I feel, as Indians, our society is the perfect case to study hypocrisy in 21st century. Let me quote an example that verifies this hypocritical nature. Almost every day we see some form of moral policing done by either political parties, social groups or some spiritual guru. Alcoholism, so-called ‘indecent’ dressing, pubs, night parties, etc. are some acts that are still spurned by Indian society and will perhaps continue to be expelled because we have intentionally accepted modern practices while holding our past values. These social boundaries have been applied on women more sternly than men, which is a bizarreness that needs to be amended sooner than we feel essential.

The title of this post may have raised a few eyebrows, a few frowns may also have surfaced. We are Indians, thus we are hypocrites – what exactly does that mean? It’s so easy and convenient for this woman to sit abroad and comment of India – many might be thinking.  Well, simply put, we are Indians and we are hypocrites because most often, we choose to project ourselves at different times in our lives – simply to suit the need of the hour.

Past few weeks, AIB Roast has gained a lot of popularity – far more than less important and trivial issues like rape, elections, ISIS, Jordan bombings etc. I just heard yesterday how the elite of the Bollywood industry – like Amir Khan and the Bhai himself (Salman Khan) got “offended” by AIB Roast as they did not find it funny. Fair enough. To each his own.

Aamir says the language used in the show was very violent. But hey! Wait a minute. Now this is the same Aamir Khan who had starred in the excessively violent movie Ghajini? He had no qualms in showing all the physical violence in Ghajini but seemingly verbal “abuses” are “very violent” and should not be shown. As for the foul language, ofcourse for Delly Belly he had given a disclaimer with beep sounds? It’s okay if the song Bhaag DK Bose DK Bose meant something entirely different. Not violent, not abusive. That’s a kind of a song, we’d watch with the family or during a spiritual session (*slow clap*), that wasn’t even abusive after all. What could Amir Khan do if some DK Bose was being asked to run?

Aamir also said, that it’s not right to comment on somebody’s ethnicity, color or sexuality and gag about it. Fine. But what about making fun of somebody’s accent which his character did in 3 Idiots? What about making fun of somebody’s verbosity? Chatur’s (a character in 3 Idiots) turgidity was made fun of all over the whole movie. One can’t be discriminating about whom/what one can be made fun of and who/what cannot be made fun of. - Or can we? What’s wrong somewhere doesn’t become another show’s right? 

Aamir claims with Delhi Belly he had applied for an Adults certificate so does that make it all okay? But then AIB Roast was also for Adults and was uploaded on YouTube with a cautionary by Karan Johar. To his credit he does later say that he is against banning and that lynching AIB is incorrect.

Its completely okay if Delhi Belly or AIB Roast have vulgarity or swearing words  as both are made for adults and one can watch them only if they want to. Where does social responsibility come here? What about the Bhaag DK Bose song which was played everywhere from TV channels/Radio to malls/shops and street corners at all times without being beeped? My son wasn’t around at that time, or else he would have picked the lyrics of this one too. And then what about Aamir Khan’s partial nudity for PK’s poster? I am sure those posters – seen everywhere – without any bans are okay. This is the artist’s conscious responsibility that Mr. Khan was probably preaching about?

And what do I hear – Salman Khan is offended by these jokes? Wait a minute. He is the same Salman Khan who has advocated phrases like “Pungi baja doonga” (translates to come squeeze any nipple that you see) with obscene gestures in a Bollywood flick, right? Or is he the same man, who takes pride in songs like “Mere photo ko seene se yaar” (translates to stick my picture on your chest – read boobs) or perhaps dances obscenely with his sister in law in songs like “Munni Badnam Hui” (translates to a woman called Munni who got famous because of this stud). You see its okay to make fun of his hot bhabhi (sister in law) but how dare they make fun of his sister Arpita? She is not even hot?! Only Salman Bhai has the patented right to humiliate every woman – be it on Bigg Boss or in an award function – publically. How can AIB infringe on this right?

Isn’t he the same actor with the cheesiest dialogues like “Aam aadmi sota hua sher hai ... ungli mat kar” or (translates to don’t finger a common man or he will roar like a tiger who just woke up) “Hum tum mein itne ched karenge ... ki confuse ho jaoge ki saans kahan se le ... aur paadein kahan se” (translates to if I hit you, you will forget where to breathe from and where to fart from). I don’t think I need to explain Salman Khan’s pure family movies in detail. The very fact that recently, when I reprimanded my son by spanking his back, he mockingly sang to me “tere jaisa kick mujhe milta nahin” (translates to - *forget it*) – this is enough hatred I have for Salman Khan already. So he shouldn’t even be in this debate of what’s offensive or whats not. Disqualified from the argument.

Now coming to AIB team, which did the actual roast – well, they did not have the courage to stand up for their stand-up comedy? They shamelessly and gutlessly removed the video from YouTube and then apologized to the Archdiocese of Bombay. If AIB did not believe that what they were doing was right then they should have not have done that in the first place. I feel it was a spineless thing to do. As if it was enough of “being offended” now the Hindu community is also offended about why they don’t deserve an “unconditional” apology like the Christian community?

I believe humor is not about your outlook, it's your capacity to understand how ludicrous outlooks can be. Think about it:

·         Russell Peters is an Indian and most of his gags revolve around India-bashing

·         Khushwant Singh is a Sikh but most of his jokes revolve around Punjabis and other sardars

·         African-American comics are mostly about racist jokes

The late George Carlin who is perhaps the greatest stand-up comedian ever, was under arrest for his routine of “Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television” back in 1970 but unlike AIB he did not express regret. Instead he continued making same jokes, without paying heed on who felt offended. That’s how you stand up for something you believe in – don’t you?

Recently, almost everyone stood against the Islamic terrorists who massacred at the offices of satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo. So much outrage and debate over freedom of speech – why? Because it’s perfectly okay to laugh or mock on these things, as long as it’s not your own religion that’s being mocked at or not your Gods/prophets being cartooned. We are Indians, and it’s kind of chic and hip to show support for International community. We are broad minded, after all? But sorry, we can’t listen to such pervert jokes on YouTube. We do say the Ch***** word in our daily conversations to each other, or while showing road rage, but hey, how can AIB put it on YouTube?

My point is, no one was told to watch the video at gunpoint? Taking offence because it goes against “our culture” is the kind of moral policing we must outpace. On the tickets of the show, as well as before the YouTube videos play, there are adequate and repeated warnings about possibly offensive dialogues, comments and gestures. If a viewer has watched on, it is because he/she has exercised that choice – isn’t it? Recently, in a hearing which sought banning PK, due to its obscene poster and some other scenes, the Supreme Court ruled that if a viewer is likely to be offended by the film, he should simply not watch it. Why doesn’t that hold true for AIB as well? If a certain section of Bollywood, religious groups or politicians are thin-skinned enough to not take a joke for what it is, they do have the option of not watching it at all – don’t they?

With all these brazen instances of how these Bollywood actors use their celebrity status to influence the public as per their personal wishes or conveniences, it’s pitiful how the public is by and large readily misled.

But again – we are Indians. We are hypocrites. We are like this only.

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