We - The Women

“Gang Rape”, “Women’s right”, “Sexual Assault”, “Rape Culture” etc. etc. So on and so forth. It’s been a while I have been reading about the various stories – especially heinous crimes related to women in India. Can’t stop wondering, what the heck happened to the male libido all of a sudden in India? Can’t deny I am not disturbed or unaffected reading about these stories, inspite of the fact that so far – I feel “safe” staying far -far away from being exposed to these atrocities against women – in USA.

It's difficult, as a woman for me, to even react to this.  I'll go forward and dig out an imperialist container of maggots and advocate that we invest excessive time talking about and fostering developing economies and not adequate time on developing societies.  What we're receiving, consequently, are bigoted democracies bouncing up around the world.  People are electing representative forms of government but those governments are representing disconcerting guidelines and principles, at least if you have absolutist opinion of civil liberties.

That said, the lives of Indian women persists being  treacherous at worst, and distressed at least, in ways that warrant responsiveness. Lately, the issue of women’s security has been doing rounds yet again –this time in reaction to the 23 year old student who was brutally gang raped in a moving bus by 6 men. The episode has left many, especially women inquiring ‘it could have been me?’ ‘Am I safe in my own city?’. The reason being, that this Delhi victim was indeed one of us – which is why we are so angry and outraged about it. Just like writer, Sonia Faleiro has mentioned in one of her recent articles “The Unspeakable Truth about Rape in India” (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/02/opinion/the-unspeakable-truth-about-rape-in-india.html?smid=fb-share) that although this Delhi victim’s name is anonymous but she is not faceless. All we have to do is look at the mirror.

Well, essentially, it happens innumerable times every day, every minute, every hour across India. But it’s still being speckled across the TV screens, the Internet, the newspapers and magazines. The analysts are out in force and few frontrunners are spewing up the same frivolous commentaries. Again. Like waves roaring on the seashore, the sexual oppression and humiliation of women in India never culminates. And every time it makes the news, it makes it seem even more interminable.

I remember my growing years in Lucknow ( a small city of Uttar Pradesh in North India )where practically every day, elderly and young men made ‘smooch’ noises at me as they passed on their motorbikes, shouted vulgarities from cars and buses, and gazed at me in a manner that made me feel dishonored without even being touched. This happens to every single woman I have known. It happens to we – the women , every day.

I was taught by my parents, especially my father and sister, to be fearless. I was bought up with the thought process to be well aware of the evils of the society, to raise my voice against the atrocities or the so called “ eve- teasing” which has been often described as harmless and “acceptable”. However, today I fear raising my voice, lest I accept being raped in India.

Here’s the tough truth. A woman in our egocentric, orthodox-ion and packed of jungle laws, which we so dotingly refer to as a “society”, is only but a tool. A “tool” of mass pleasure, of countrywide eve teasing, of taking the country on top of the chart by adding to the already unrestrained populace, and if she is wedded, then she becomes the definitive tool of domestic chores and a toy engraved out of card-box, which then is being used by family members as per their desires.

I recognize that this happens all over the world. I know that, even in USA ( where I currently stay), women are raped and trampled every day. However, having lived here for over 4 years now, I also know that it is poles apart a situation than what it is in India. It appears to me that what makes it dissimilar here is the public nature of the assaults on women, the reaction to these cases, and most prominently the consequences of punishment and the swift pace of justice meted out here.

Amanat’s ( as the nation refers to the Delhi rape victim) horrendous death is just another indicator of a country which does not consent women to exist,  live, flourish or be liberated. And although many laws have been formed to defend them, sadly enough few are actually executed.

Additionally, I have been reading a lot about "rape culture" in various articles these days. There is something within me that agitates and angers me against its use. It brings to mind the awareness that rape is so predominant in our Indian cultures? As if it denotes that if we , as women dare to be “adventurous”( As stated by Delhi CM Sheila Dixit, in reference to the murder of a news reporter)  rape is and will forever be inescapable. The sad truth about being women in India is that all women are destined to endure some familiarity of rape, just by the default of existing in a “rape culture”, even if they are not theoretically or bodily raped. There are enormous glitches with this hypothesis; it is intended to induce rage to the point where people are stimulated to transmute the “rape culture”. But before it arouses fury, it induces something larger and more instant: terror and fear. It transforms all women into victims, in prospective and in actuality. We all are rape victims; it's just a matter of time before the concept of rape transforms into a somatic reality, and we can do little to evade it.

In the kind of society we live in, it is not easy to affirm that a woman’s body is at all times her own, not available to be “used” at the impulse of any man without her approval. It is far easier to snub the feelings of women, to assert that they should sympathize with the man, that they should be submissive and surrender-  and just “go along” with it. And the sturdier the power structure backing up the man, the more problematic it becomes to act otherwise. Recently, a woman leader from Congress had commented that the Delhi Rape Victim, should have “surrendered” to her predators, so that at least her intestines would have been saved and she would have lived. So my point is, that we – the women, are raped everyday – not just technically and physically – but we are raped of our thoughts and suppressed even before we think of raising our voices. As we see these disturbing cases reported, I know that we- the women, often feel as if we are just being crashed back down into our ‘proper’ place. As we hear government, cops, and even women leaders, advise us to stay inside our homes, not venture out after it’s dark or to dress suitably, again, we know that we should just shut up be thankful that it hasn’t happened to us – or worse still wait and dread for our turns next.

The failure of law and order from snowballing corruption can only imply that things will become even more problematic for women in India. The truth is that they are protests are stronger and people, especially women,  are beginning to raise their voices. The tragedy, however, is that no one is listening, no one really cares and nothing will be done.

As a woman, I feel safer here , in USA,  far away in a country which is not my own- as ironical and selfish as it may seem and sound. I dread returning back to India, thinking every day that this might be my unlucky day, when I venture out of my home.

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India Shining? I don’t think so

A regular casual dinner with a few friends transforms into a horrendous night for Keenan Santoas and Rueben Fernandez on the night of 20th of October, 2011

I have not been following this case as closely until just recently - It makes me wonder if all these Facebook movements, candle light vigils and the “battle against the system” are just nonsense? A pretense by which we convince ourselves that we’re part of a drive – a revolution or a movement which just gives a big high to our bigger egos. Well, does that not make the “voice of India” self-centered? Have we never considered fighting the hoodlums in our own society before fighting corruption and terrorism?

The flaw does not however, alone lie with the sad state of affairs in India – where women’s security is concerned. Most of the times, I have fought my own combats with a troublesome feeling that some man would come and get back at me for standing up for myself. Many times, I have been displeased with male friends who overlooked a danger, opting to look away instead. So when people nod dejectedly and comment that looking away was a better alternative, I get a sinking feeling.

When will, we as people, learn and understand that looking away is not the way out? It is that we have misplaced our opinions, our self-esteem and indeed our principles by constantly looking away every time we are confronted with an attack on our personal and combined self-esteem.

I have stayed in a city called Lucknow for most of my life and have myself faced embarrassment, humiliation and disrespect at every nook and corner of that city. It is because most of the cities in India we are full of these killers and we face them everyday. They walk amongst us, talk filthy to us, feel us up, brush against us, touch us and grope us .Every time these issues are reported, we are asked to shut our gobs for threat of speedy and throbbing vengeance.

Thus by doing so, we have misplaced our united voice. We thus choose to bow down our heads and we lock our eyes and ears and we choose to witness such incidents, comment on it, like Facebook page for it and then move on. Oblivious to other people, ignorant to all the prejudice around us – we move on with our lives – It didn’t happen to me after all? Just because two brave men declined to do the same, because they rejected to listen to the cynics, they are dead. What a ghastly way to go .I wonder what would have combating for a society- that perhaps wouldn’t have done the same for them- would have earned them – instant death and injustice as the case shall go on forever and justice will be delayed for half a century?

It’s a fad these days to take a day off work and scream slogans against corruption since your life is not under threat by doing that. But why did not even a single person, out of a crowd of hundreds perhaps, come forward to help Keenan and Reuben? The two men may have been alive if someone in the “viewers” had at least called an ambulance.

To the bystanders or the audience who chose to enjoy the view - don’t worry people; your daughters, mothers, wives and sisters are all secure. You all can come out of your cabinets. You can have movements and candle-light vigils when you feel wronged by rickshaw-walla’s meddle meter. Infact why even come out of your homes? Stay in your protected havens and happily press the ‘Like’ button of the ‘Anti-rickshaw drivers protest’ crusade on FaceBook. Why should you be concerned about some Santos or a Fernandes being killed by some goons in Marol after all?

To Keenan and Reuben- Thank you for choosing not to look away. You both are my Heroes.

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Breaking News

Just when I wondered news trivialization by a segment of Indian media could not get shoddier, it did. And how.

What provoked me to write this post? Ever since the demise of Late Shri Satya Sai Baba (Spiritual Godman), the Hindi news channels have been shamelessly showing reruns of how Sachin Tendulkar (an Indian Cricket Player) got emotional at the funeral meet and the way his tears were flowing incessantly like the Niagara.

So is it just me or does anyone else also feels that our news channels are on an absolute dive towards total decline? Indian media's proclivity for sensationalism is by no means a new trend. From the time when tabloids were first published in the United Kingdom, sensationalizing news stories, publishing unconfirmed reports, scandal sections and celeb news, became a component of the media. However, they never caused a grave danger to conventional newspaper since the readers were conscious of the fact that tabloids had more to do with amusement than sober journalism. Tabloid journalism never acquired an analogous grip in India in the initial 50 years of freedom; old-fashioned Indian society did not permit the similar level of frankness and impertinence that is so vital in tabloid journalism. Even in the post- freedom period, tabloid journalism was not flourishing barring the national dailies publishing entertainment news and celeb gossip in what is now prevalently referred to as “Page 3” news. However, with the dawn of satellite TV, tabloid journalism in India has discovered a new facade in Hindi and vernacular news media particularly the visual media. It soon disintegrated into something which is yet to be described.

Sensationalism is what sells and impels the media to a repugnant path and more prominently the visual media - principally the TV as frequently viewed- has forgotten the total concept of social connotation from its each and every story featured, associated with sex, fallacy, suicide and crime. It’s time to get beyond just broadcasting or writing news.

Journalism (whatever I understand of it) is inclined towards the capacity to voice an opinion and to comprehend and uphold the moral codes and norms of media. conversely, media nowadays- be it print or electronic are more bogged down by strength of their circulations or TRP ratings and consequently never falter to feature news which could be vulnerable to many.

In days of yore, it was merely limited to local media but nowadays national television news channels have started hitting the screen with bizarre stories and by building self directed chapters derived from sensationalism.

To be an accountable fourth pillar of a democratic system, the Indian media needs to deal with public interest and also value public sentiments by being morally answerable for its social repercussions in general. Journalists need to follow their scruples while reporting sensitive subjects like a funeral, natural calamity, rape or molestation etc.

Yes, you can question -- what is erroneous in showing rape as rape or murder as murder?—But as an accountable civilian you have no right to feature the disfigured body of a woman or those who are associated with her family.

The point in fact to be marked here is the transmogrification of news channels into a sensational, broadcasted tabloid that hunts and breeds on garish subjects. There could be two rationales behind this modification. First, that these television channels do not have the journalistic capacities to search for news stories that essentially matter and sanction the audiences with that information. Second, that there is in fact an audience, and a sizable number at that, that would much rather prefer sensationalism over useful news. My notion, thus, is that it is the former of the two which stands true.

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Independence vs. Freedom

Come 15th August, I abruptly notice all the TV channels, radio stations and the print media pass on news on Independence Day, liberty and nationalism. Even my Facebook page is flooded with patriotism. Everyone is underlining the fact that all of us should really revel in glory about the fact that we are a liberated nation. But time to think – are we really a free country?

At this point of time I am just wondering, how squat is the public recollection or is it just me who thinks that in a nation where every alternative day we hear a story about caste prejudice, honor killing, and rape, murders, terrorism which all are a common jargon, what kind of freedom are we actually speaking about here?

If I overlook the bigger picture, even after 63 years of autonomy I am never confident about venturing out of the house after dark in this country. We pompously claim that India is a liberated nation. Since we got independence in the year 1947, the infrastructure has developed, the level of education has elevated, and lifestyle has expanded, glamor, technology, entertainment industry, market, and what not. However, the structure we live in is fundamentally crooked, isn't it? Ever since we got independence 63 years back, the wealthier are getting more affluent, poor strata of the society are getting poorer and an average middle class man is a compressed vegetable of a sandwich of both the strata. The market in the existing circumstances compels middle class populace to work for over 14 to 15 hours per day and the value in response is like stones sinking in water. We live in a country where we are openly assaulted by some Ajmal Kasab.

The sleaze, the discrepancy of society, the whirlpool of political games, ignorance of rights is drooping one side of our nation in a sewer. Somewhere deep within, aren’t all of us somewhere responsible for it?

I recently had to bribe the telephone department to get a quick internet connection. Not to forget that I also had to bribe a staff of electricity department to get a three phase connection in my house here. Well, India main aise hi chalta hai!

Have we ever reflected on the fact that how freedom and independence are utilized so interchangeably? If you hunt for either of the terms in a thesaurus, you’ll discover each is shown as synonym for the other. Freedom and independence. Do they actually imply the similar connotation? Can we be free without being independent? Can we ever be independent without being free?

It’s that same time of year when all Indians turn their reflections towards the honor of the martyrs who sacrificed their lives for our freedom, and that just for today – August the 15th, we must commemorate what the freedom given to us in this land of the liberated, abode of the courageous. But think about it- how many of us are free and how many of the courageous lot are remaining? How many of us are prepared to stand up for what’s right, what’s wrong and not to concede defeat? I’d say India might be independent but there’s a long way to freedom yet. The day, we are truly liberated from our “chalta hai” mentality is the day; our nation would actually be free.

I conclude with a quote by Dwight D. Eisenhower: “Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, and the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed - else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die.”

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Shashi Tharoor Twittering Away to Trouble - Holy Cow!

In the dominion of spurious hullabaloos, what India’s Foreign Minister Shashi Tharoor is in the middle of is derisorily jesting. Someone requires flushing the two-facedness that chokes India’s political dissertation.

It is bizarre that the PM Manmohan Singh was made to fling Shashi, a salvation as political storms spin around him, intimidating to sink his embryonic career. And what surprises me most is that- all this is for a clichéd witticism on a yet another social networking portal that flourishes on banal puns (intended or unintended). Twitter sure, could not have drawn itself the type of promotion it is getting right now- credit to Shashi Tharoor’s controversial expression on solidarity with “holy cows” who travel in the “cattle class” and the hyperactive responses of political parties.

The Congress Party, of which Shashi Tharoor seems to be an insignificant constituent of, went into a self-virtuous dither over the Twitter trade. It appears as if the ex- U.N. diplomat’s trivial imprudence has given way to some deep-settled bitterness against him. whilst the Congress Party viewed the comment as offensive to India’s “aam janta” (the Mango People in Filmy Lingo) who travel in the economy class, however what no one is able to elucidate is how many of these “aam janta” people (excuse my affinity to use this term so often- I just love it!) that the party owns up to toil for can really have enough money for an air travel?

The BJP had a diverse and expected opinion on the issue, on the other hand. In their political formula the terms “holy cows” triggered the panic buttons right away. A BJP Spokesman promptly commented that associating cattle class with the holy cow is just as odious against India’s culture and “sabhyata”. The conception that any sardonic “cow kind” indication is an insult against India’s culture and traditions could have only originated from this party. If cows are sacred and they are also cattle, what’s so offensive about “cattle class”?

Undeniably, there was completely nothing even distantly controversial or insulting about what Shashi Tharoor might have tweeted in a jiffy. The trouble is the background inside which he functions, comes with an intrinsic bolt on non-interventionist expression. At some stage the negative responses to Shashi Tharoor’s tweets also accentuate the split between youthful, new generation political leaders who are stepping into a range of parties and old-fashioned ones still gripping outdated concepts and philosophies. With the cocktail of tech savvy young cream of the crop and with victorious non-political proficient backdrops, this major modification seems inevitable. This is an intermediary chapter where the old is still attempting to implement authority whilst the new is taking it apart.

Holy Cow! Holy Cow!!

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My Name is Khan -- On America’s racial profiling vs. India’s VIP culture

A few days back, the King Khan witnessed the much talked about, detention at an American airport. He claims that that he will in no way visit America again. Last month, America’s Continental Airlines asked for forgiveness to the former Indian President- APJ Abdul Kalam in the midst of indignation in India when it appeared that the former Indian president had been cavorted and made to take off his shoes at Delhi airport.

With all these “VIPs”s getting frisked at the International Airports, my question is – What’s the Big deal? Not many might be aware that many years ago; American Senator Ted Kennedy (sibling of president John F Kennedy) was also apprehended at an airport on a domestic air travel.

SRK’s detention, which has formed something of a global episode and the most important caption story in India, originates from his last name supposedly corresponding one on one of the varied America’s Most wanteds. all such cries of prejudice from politicians and celebrities verify the veneration of VIP rank in India. SRK shouldn't have been apprehended. He's a super star after all?! Just Google his name and you will know! I concur, detention must be infuriating. It's not amusing. It's even kind of frightening. But there are a lot more frightening things than being detained a couple hours at an airport. For instance, being assaulted by brutal suicide bombers!

I feel all this mêlée won't in fact modify the racial profiling in the America, particularly when it appears like SRK is throwing a rage tinker. He asserts: "But I'm a Superstar!" the security officer replies, "Come with me." It appears like, what SRK wanted to hear was: "OMG, sir, I am terribly sorry, please pardon me. I should have recognized you. You are the star who dances even superior than the Amitabh Bacchan!" And when the security officer failed to do this, he was doomed.

So does that imply that Only film actors should be excused from racial profiling, is it?

SRK’s ill-treatment may in the long time be serve in good light for him in America, as it will undoubtedly pull notice to the US release of his upcoming movie My Name is Khan which is due for release soon sometime this year. The hullabaloo from the Indian janta will certainly grow fainter over time too, for the reason that Khan’s incarceration lasted just a couple of hours. Eventually this episode reflects on to something that happens with so many people, who travel to a foreign land. Imagine if this didn’t occur to King Khan -the Super Star, but Shahrukh Khan the general merchant, or Shahrukh Khan the IT professional. No one would ever be talking about this whole thing in the first place?

I don’t really know how SRK was humiliated by the normal procedure of securities which most of we NRIs have to go through. This story is very regular and it’s improbable the Homeland Securities broke any grave laws with what they did. I wonder if King Khan is blinking the public trump card to amplify the pre-release propaganda for My Name Is Khan.

Whatever be the reason, the bottom line that all of us should know is – No one is superior to the public security.

Live and Let Live!

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