We - The Women

“Gang Rape”, “Women’s right”, “Sexual Assault”, “Rape Culture” etc. etc. So on and so forth. It’s been a while I have been reading about the various stories – especially heinous crimes related to women in India. Can’t stop wondering, what the heck happened to the male libido all of a sudden in India? Can’t deny I am not disturbed or unaffected reading about these stories, inspite of the fact that so far – I feel “safe” staying far -far away from being exposed to these atrocities against women – in USA.

It's difficult, as a woman for me, to even react to this.  I'll go forward and dig out an imperialist container of maggots and advocate that we invest excessive time talking about and fostering developing economies and not adequate time on developing societies.  What we're receiving, consequently, are bigoted democracies bouncing up around the world.  People are electing representative forms of government but those governments are representing disconcerting guidelines and principles, at least if you have absolutist opinion of civil liberties.

That said, the lives of Indian women persists being  treacherous at worst, and distressed at least, in ways that warrant responsiveness. Lately, the issue of women’s security has been doing rounds yet again –this time in reaction to the 23 year old student who was brutally gang raped in a moving bus by 6 men. The episode has left many, especially women inquiring ‘it could have been me?’ ‘Am I safe in my own city?’. The reason being, that this Delhi victim was indeed one of us – which is why we are so angry and outraged about it. Just like writer, Sonia Faleiro has mentioned in one of her recent articles “The Unspeakable Truth about Rape in India” (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/02/opinion/the-unspeakable-truth-about-rape-in-india.html?smid=fb-share) that although this Delhi victim’s name is anonymous but she is not faceless. All we have to do is look at the mirror.

Well, essentially, it happens innumerable times every day, every minute, every hour across India. But it’s still being speckled across the TV screens, the Internet, the newspapers and magazines. The analysts are out in force and few frontrunners are spewing up the same frivolous commentaries. Again. Like waves roaring on the seashore, the sexual oppression and humiliation of women in India never culminates. And every time it makes the news, it makes it seem even more interminable.

I remember my growing years in Lucknow ( a small city of Uttar Pradesh in North India )where practically every day, elderly and young men made ‘smooch’ noises at me as they passed on their motorbikes, shouted vulgarities from cars and buses, and gazed at me in a manner that made me feel dishonored without even being touched. This happens to every single woman I have known. It happens to we – the women , every day.

I was taught by my parents, especially my father and sister, to be fearless. I was bought up with the thought process to be well aware of the evils of the society, to raise my voice against the atrocities or the so called “ eve- teasing” which has been often described as harmless and “acceptable”. However, today I fear raising my voice, lest I accept being raped in India.

Here’s the tough truth. A woman in our egocentric, orthodox-ion and packed of jungle laws, which we so dotingly refer to as a “society”, is only but a tool. A “tool” of mass pleasure, of countrywide eve teasing, of taking the country on top of the chart by adding to the already unrestrained populace, and if she is wedded, then she becomes the definitive tool of domestic chores and a toy engraved out of card-box, which then is being used by family members as per their desires.

I recognize that this happens all over the world. I know that, even in USA ( where I currently stay), women are raped and trampled every day. However, having lived here for over 4 years now, I also know that it is poles apart a situation than what it is in India. It appears to me that what makes it dissimilar here is the public nature of the assaults on women, the reaction to these cases, and most prominently the consequences of punishment and the swift pace of justice meted out here.

Amanat’s ( as the nation refers to the Delhi rape victim) horrendous death is just another indicator of a country which does not consent women to exist,  live, flourish or be liberated. And although many laws have been formed to defend them, sadly enough few are actually executed.

Additionally, I have been reading a lot about "rape culture" in various articles these days. There is something within me that agitates and angers me against its use. It brings to mind the awareness that rape is so predominant in our Indian cultures? As if it denotes that if we , as women dare to be “adventurous”( As stated by Delhi CM Sheila Dixit, in reference to the murder of a news reporter)  rape is and will forever be inescapable. The sad truth about being women in India is that all women are destined to endure some familiarity of rape, just by the default of existing in a “rape culture”, even if they are not theoretically or bodily raped. There are enormous glitches with this hypothesis; it is intended to induce rage to the point where people are stimulated to transmute the “rape culture”. But before it arouses fury, it induces something larger and more instant: terror and fear. It transforms all women into victims, in prospective and in actuality. We all are rape victims; it's just a matter of time before the concept of rape transforms into a somatic reality, and we can do little to evade it.

In the kind of society we live in, it is not easy to affirm that a woman’s body is at all times her own, not available to be “used” at the impulse of any man without her approval. It is far easier to snub the feelings of women, to assert that they should sympathize with the man, that they should be submissive and surrender-  and just “go along” with it. And the sturdier the power structure backing up the man, the more problematic it becomes to act otherwise. Recently, a woman leader from Congress had commented that the Delhi Rape Victim, should have “surrendered” to her predators, so that at least her intestines would have been saved and she would have lived. So my point is, that we – the women, are raped everyday – not just technically and physically – but we are raped of our thoughts and suppressed even before we think of raising our voices. As we see these disturbing cases reported, I know that we- the women, often feel as if we are just being crashed back down into our ‘proper’ place. As we hear government, cops, and even women leaders, advise us to stay inside our homes, not venture out after it’s dark or to dress suitably, again, we know that we should just shut up be thankful that it hasn’t happened to us – or worse still wait and dread for our turns next.

The failure of law and order from snowballing corruption can only imply that things will become even more problematic for women in India. The truth is that they are protests are stronger and people, especially women,  are beginning to raise their voices. The tragedy, however, is that no one is listening, no one really cares and nothing will be done.

As a woman, I feel safer here , in USA,  far away in a country which is not my own- as ironical and selfish as it may seem and sound. I dread returning back to India, thinking every day that this might be my unlucky day, when I venture out of my home.

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