Watch for that Cupid – Is he wearing a tie?

This is a post I’ve been waiting to write for a long long time now. In fact, it originates from something I noticed way back in February of last year. It’s been a while that I have been getting excessive LinkedIn connection requests. While most of them are harmless connections with the exploration of a business/work collaboration, but then there are some lot of people who have mistaken LinkedIn to be a dating site?! The main reasons why LinkedIn is the trench coat, mustached and wire frame glasses wearing mouth breather of the internet are the “People You May Know” and “People Also Viewed” features.

I have been working in an industry where networking is required. After events/conferences etc. people often want to connect on LinkedIn, or sometimes just out of the blue based on common career interests and future business alliances. Getting random ‘I wanna be your friend” message are not uncommon for any woman, I guess. The love lesson here, for these friend/love seeking cupids is clear--if you're in the virtual world, keep those LinkedIn profiles up to date and upload your most flattering headshot. LinkedIn isn't just for job search afterall--it could be where you meet the love of your life. Right?

 Well, wrong. Here are my two cents on how you’re doing

1. A suitable professional profile picture to begin with? Nothing says “creepy” like a unidentified stranger sending you a connection request.  Whenever this happens, I visualize looking through the peephole of my front door only to see a man in a ski mask.  “Sorry buddy, you’re never getting in here!  Now, where did I put that hammer?” I once got a connection request from someone who had put his wedding picture (wearing a traditional wedding turban with flowers) as his profile picture. I feel sorry for the dude to be a lost puppy, who instead of going on a matrimonial site, landed on LinkedIn. Sorry, but no sorry.  Also, no dog, no husband, no baby please? Just a decent professional pic would be nice.
2. Stop Flirting - I don’t assume all ladies have a problem with this one, but perhaps this is not the place. I know it’s tough to date a modern woman, I get it. On the one hand, the LinkedIn profile might look so salacious and gorgeous – how could you not send her a connection request? But conversely, approaching the modern woman in her professional site (albeit a virtual one), isn’t really ok. Even if you draft a message that would blow Rumi or Shakespeare out of the water, you possibly have very narrow chances of getting a response back. If she’s stern about being on the website for professional purposes, you will have a tough time chipping away at that. Simply put, stop being a creep.

3.     Sending a Customized message is a good idea. Telling the person why you want to connect with them will you give you higher probabilities of your request being accepted? Being in the communication and PR industry, I often have to send requests to editors and journalists. Giving a clear idea of why you want to connect with a precise message is always good. 

4.     Make your preliminary message about them, not you. Sure, we understand how keen and excited you are to tell them about yourself, but you don’t want to come off self-absorbed narcissist either.   I witnessed a perfect instance of this few weeks back. A senior official in some leading bank sent me a 500 word introduction. Apparently he seems to be a part time policy seller. Those long messages scare me off.  Request denied.

5.     Ensure you fill LinkedIn profiles completely.  Make sure on LinkedIn you fill out your experience, summary and other relevant profile areas.  Ensure, when your anticipated connections “look out for you”, they can get a precise summary of who you are – professionally ofcourse. I have seen instances where people start bragging philosophical theories and preach gyaan on how to live life. Sorry! We have Nirmal Baba for that already!

6. Have a better job description – Errr..“specialist?”..Like Really? Be warned for that could mean so many different things. And when you don’t define it, we have no freaking idea what you’re talking about or what you do from 9 to 5pm. every day. The important thing here is that you don’t want a blank piece of paper with random job titles. You could be a massage specialist for God Sake!

7.     Keep away the advertisements please. Sales pitches have little or no place in preliminary LinkedIn interactions.  That is, unless you like for your prospective connections to hit the “ignore” button.  Build quality “professional” relations first.

Please keep your dating tactics, hitting dramas, your flirtatious messages, and your Axe body spray off LinkedIn.

PS: Sorry, Mr. Rahul whatever. You had to be the one to lead the foolish multitude of cupids mistaking LinkedIn as a dating site and therefore you had to bear the brunt.  As for the cheesy pick up line, my 4 year old son can perhaps eat a bowl of alphabets and say something far intelligent than that.

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