Dealing With A No Baby

Toddlers are incredible little people. They are learning and discovering at such a rapid pace that we- as parents - can hardly stay even with all the new words flying out of their vocabulary books. There’s a presumption that toddlers make use of their favorite “no” word more than any other word for the reason that it’s the one word they take notice of and perceive most frequently! 

This is exactly what’s happening with my 22 month old toddler. He seems to be going through a stage of saying “Naww” a large number of times and implementing a very divergent attitude to the world around him – most considerably towards me and my husband - his parents so to say. Last night I asked him, if he’d like to have some milk in his Sippy cup and he started to shake his head and say "Oh no no no no no no no."  - Yes, that is 7 no's one after the other for those of you counting.  I was in splits since it was adorable and surprising.

“No” is a miraculous word for my son. It is fundamentally his first way of brandishing some authority over us. By retorting “no!” he is making a choice and articulating his freedom. Since, my son has only recently explored and found out the influence of “no” , he takes it to extreme limits – at times, even declining something he evidently wants– “Do you want some chips?” “Naw!” “Are you sleepy?” “Naww” “Are you intelligent?” “Nawwww” “Do you want a spanking?” “Naww”– Just for the heck of it.

My son furthermore loves the impact that his musical ‘nawww’ has on us, particularly when it incites an outburst of annoyance, or, even better, a string of option of the kind he would never have dreamt of before he found out the power of “no”. What do you want for snacks– carrot?” “No!”, “pudding?” “No?”, “yoghurt?” “Nawww”.

So the question is – how do we deal with a No Baby afterall? Here’s what my take on this is - The primary thing to bear in mind is that the originality will soon subside, principally when they comprehend that saying “no” to everything ultimately bears out to be counterproductive. I usually strive to understand if my son is communicating a legitimate desire not to have or do something, or whether it is purely for outcome. When he says “nawww!” to any of his favorite activity, or declines a treat he loves, I now take them at his word. I hope he will consequently soon understand that “no” should be reserved for times when he actually means it, and that the thrill and dismay that it leads to isn’t in fact worth it.

Also, one thing to keep in mind is that “no!” is a blind alley – it fails to provide any optional strategy. So, if junior is playing once more with daddy’s fragile specs, rather than saying “No! “For the 100th time of the day, I use an optional activity (like playing with blocks which is his favorite) to divert him. Though, only limited to a few times, it does avert him from having a complete outburst of anger and tantrums, as it repels the situation for him instantaneously.        I usually try to follow up “no” with a rationalization as to why what he wants isn’t doable, or reasonable, and persuade him to make constructive choices instead of negative ones.  I feel as kids grow up, they will soon discover that this method is far more efficient in acquiring them what they really want.

Although I fail many times, but I also try to make certain that my son follows a steady schedule, for example that he eats something every two hours and takes his naps timely. This gives him a sense of constancy and protection and acts as a reassuring impact on him, managing his mutinous conduct to an extent.

Nonetheless, I’m no specialist. Being a first time mommy, I am a novice who is learning the tricks of the trade gradually as I am growing up as much with my son – as a mother. Some of these things mentioned above work for me, sometimes they don’t. But I felt it was worth sharing them, also inviting a few suggestions from any new mommy reading this post.

So what are your ideas to deal with a No Baby?

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