Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Life Lessons by a 4 year old : What kids teach us


How many days a week do you feel like life is just too complicated – Be honest? I guess even if it isn't, it doesn't take us long to make things complicated by our own free will. We human beings just have this inherent capacity to ramp up everything to the next level.  

For the past few months, I have been a stay at home mom – yet again. I do miss my working days, but spending time with my son seems like a big consolation prize for this trade off. Some days have been overwhelming in fact – settling in a new place – a new country with no knowledge of their language. It’s natural to feel lost at times. However, I have my son – to teach me simple things about life.

Don’t we teach our children everything we can think of? From tying shoelaces to crossing the road safely to ride a bike or not to talk to strangers. But have you ever pondered on the ways our children inspire us? Here are some, that I could think of – even if you try one per week, it will be a good start – trust me on that.

Start Afresh!

Do you recall that wonderful feeling at the end of a term at school or the summer break – didn't it always feel so final, so finished? The holidays between May and July seemed like a lifetime. Because when we are young, each day feels like an infinity and a new day means new prospects to make new friends, discover new adventures, learn new things. Children don't carry baggage from one day to the next. They start fresh, always. My son has been made to first leave his friends in US and then in India. But he seems to have no qualms. He already has a “BFF” here in Germany. See? It’s easy to always start afresh.

Creative quests are fun

How often do you see children losing themselves in a creative project for hours at a time? My son spends hours in drawing, coloring, building his garden of dinosaurs, constructing a sandcastle in the play area with scrupulous attention to detail. I wonder why, for some odd reason, as we get older, we stop seeing creative activities as worthy? How many of you, leaving aside if you are an artist, draw regularly – or sometimes maybe? How many of you play with clay or finger paint just for the fun of it? How many of you pursue your hobby? I recently began my buried love for painting.

Be brave

My son sings out loud when he wants to. He dances when he feels like. I guess his life feels unbounded. This is because unlike us, children are not confined by fears of failure or embarrassment. They march forward with confidence and fortitude because they don't know any better. They haven't been beaten down, they haven't undergone failure. They embrace life and all it has to offer with open arms.

Laugh – a lot!

My son laughs – and laughs a lot. He tells me a funny story and expects me to laugh with him. But he doesn’t care, even if I don’t. He can laugh on the same joke a million times saying “Mamma it’s so funny!” .Children have the beautiful gift of finding joy all around them. I mean, as adults what is it that you would find funny in a smashed cupcake or hide and seek game every night before you go to bed? They see madness everywhere. And I guess it’s better to be mad sometimes – or perhaps always?

Cherish friendship

Like I mentioned earlier, my son spent only 2 and a half years in USA, but he made lots of friends whom he misses even now. Then he made new friends in India, after which we moved to Germany. While he misses his friends, but it took him just a month here to make new friends. He hasn’t even started school yet. Children find true joy while playing with friends and they love making new ones. They join football teams, go to a birthday parties, and start new schools. These are all ways that children make new friends. They adhere to the motto, "the more the merrier," and adults should, as well.

Be the hero

Have you ever noticed that when a kid tells you a story about his school or a conversation with his friend, or the play area, they are usually the hero of their story? Seems like the entire world revolves around them. As we grow old, we don't want to be snobbish or egocentric, so we often modulate our accomplishments and successes. We don't want to boast. At least some of us don’t want to? But in doing so, we often slip to the side of self-disapproval. We put ourselves down to make others feel better or to be more relatable. Humility becomes an admirable trait and we start to persuade ourselves of our own mediocrity. Learn from the wisdom of a child. Be the hero of your story.

Scars are symbols of honor    

Remember, when we were children and broke a bone, everyone we knew signed the cast? We become the superstar of the class – or better put - the “survivor”. I notice the same with children today also. If they fall down and cut themselves, everyone wants to see the scar, they wear it pompously. As we age, we hide our scars, our injuries (and I am not referring to physical wounds) become our secrets. We are scared to be seen as feeble or commiserated, so we tell no one where it hurts and how much it hurts. However, what I learn from my own son is to recognize is that scars aren't signs of weakness, a scar is in fact a sign of strength and survival – utmost endurance. A story to tell. An achievement.

Try new things

Children are never afraid to play a sport they have never tried before. They will jump on a trampoline, dive into a pool or ski down a mountain even if it is alien to them. As grown-ups, we fear the unknown. We stay securely entrenched in our comfort zone and seldom venture out. Adventure stimulates us and awakens the spirit. Sky diving and bungee jumping still remain to be on my bucket list, thus.

Observe and cherish the little things

My nephew loves watching the waves of the sea run back and forth at the water's edge. He notices how fast his feet get buried in the sand, as the water moves along the sand. Something simple that we take for granted brings him immense joy and he could spend hours playing with those waves. Ever wondered how and when did we stop noticing the petite miracles that surround us daily?

A trek in the woods overpowers the iPad any day!  

The latest gadgets and video games simply cannot replace the natural visuals, the full-sensory experience, or the relationship of a family walk through the forests. Never have, never will. And for that matter, nothing else produced on television can compete either. So turn off that 42 inch LED TV. Go outside. Live life, don’t just watch it on your little iPad.

Maybe children are in this world because we as grown-ups have so much left to unlearn and relearn.

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