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| My son shows me a whole new world of possibilities and aspirations. Photo : Taken in Lincoln City , Oregon US. |
“Your husband is far off, you are working,
you have a kid and a family to take care – how do you manage?
I get this question very often. Any mom
can tell you that raising a child is tough job. From planning meals to telling
bed time stories to finding time for yet another round of peekaboo, taking care
of tiny tots, sure entails lots of verve (and time). As if it weren’t enough,
add the continuous gig to the synthesis and you’ve got a Supermom who wears
numerous hats! Balancing work and family can, irrefutably, be frantic, but it’s
never short of laugh-out-loud- tales. Trust me on that!
My husband decided to study MBA from
Oxford University. This was a tough decision for our family, but looking at the
brighter prospective ahead, we decided to give it go signal. So, with a
courageous heart I chose to be a single mom – and a working one too!
Technically, being a
single mom is not for the faint hearted. Routine
responsibilities for a solo parent are abundant: managing sleepless night,
managing pick up and drops, homework etc. You’re on your own! At first, I was
very apprehensive about how I will manage things. But I did. So without spousal backup, how do people manage work
commitments, life’s multiple curveballs and parenting responsibilities without
getting lost in the hobble?
Here are some of my
learning and words of wisdom.
Widen your concept of "right" and "wrong." It's rescuing to understand how many choices you have once you begin doing things your way. At times your child eats late as he waited for you to get back home? Great! Cherish the family dinner for you have company. Weekend means sleeping late, eating junk? Super Cool! Doing things the way they work best for your child and family wards the pressure off and makes everyone- happy! Stop feeling guilty and redefine what is right and wrong. Because no one other than you knows that. Period.
Understand
that you’re giving in your best- Regardless of how
devoted and skilled you are, you are still just one person - and you have
undertaken a job that requires two people. Do not let anyone make you feel
guilty about things you are not able to do. Remind your kids that
you are a crew and have to help each other. Appreciate yourself for good work.
I treat myself in a parlour! You will have to wait until your kids grow up to
get credit from them. But don’t wait for it anyhow. Believe what you’re doing
is best you can!
Plan
ahead. If plan A does not work, there are 25 more
alphabets. That way, when things contrary to Plan A (and unavoidably they
will), you won’t feel like the whole ship is sinking.
“Me
time” is important. We, as moms know best that a happy mommy
makes a happy baby. Indulge at times. Beyond work and family – you
have a life too.
Embrace
Simplicity. Rather than feeling mortified for
taking the short route, understand how awesome you are! When I dress up Ahaan
with whatever I have at home instead of investing the time to rent a costume
for a fancy dress function at school, I feel super cool about my abilities to
be creative.
Laugh
out loud – Literally! Perfection is never humorous; in fact,
it’s dull and lacks excitement. You want funny? Make mistakes – tons of them
and enjoy narrate that story for years to come.
Parenting for me is being blessed for the
incredible, humorous, extending moments when the world inflates beyond your
house. It's falling in love with my son over and over again and also with
myself as a mom, with the prospects, all in the hub of things seeming to
crumble. Where things fall apart, new opportunities grow up. Isn’t that the
best lesson for all of us moms? That under the debris, there are seeds of
something much wilder and more beautiful than the outwardly concrete mountain
would ever let you dream.
Did I tell you how much I
enjoy being called “Ahaan ki Mummy”.
Keep Reading!
Auteur
3 comments:
Hats of to u mansi for taking up this mighty task of being a solo parent! I loved reading your blog cause many a times m jolted by the pangs of guilt when I'm not able to do what other moms do due to work but u made it very easy for me to believe.....I too m a good mum! Thanks:)
P.S. as I noticed that u've written this blog on one of ur sleepless nights at 2:22 am, I wish u lots of success in ur work and may ur life be filled with many laugh out loud moments with ahaan. All the best!
Ahaan ki mummy!! As beautiful a reality as Ahaan. Coming from vain supermom like me :) who loves getting the credit,who loves the compliment of raising a good child, who loves the guilt of spending on an expensive hairclip for Keya, who loves telling the truth, that inspite of an unwell child I attended a two hour meeting so my commitments dont suffer, I must in all humility add, its a blessing to be born and part of a supportive family, without whom, I would not have been a working ma..you agree I know :)
Ahaan ki mummy!! As beautiful a reality as Ahaan. Coming from vain supermom like me :) who loves getting the credit,who loves the compliment of raising a good child, who loves the guilt of spending on an expensive hairclip for Keya, who loves telling the truth, that inspite of an unwell child I attended a two hour meeting so my commitments dont suffer, I must in all humility add, its a blessing to be born and part of a supportive family, without whom, I would not have been a working ma..you agree I know :)
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