First Words

I wondered it would be decades before we’d meet this “milestone.”

I wondered maybe it would be after you’d learned to poop all by yourself in the pot, or maybe when you could have chopped pears without making a mess, or by the time you could wash your chocolate smudged face on your own.

“Mo-mee!” you call out my name from the bathtub today, eager, I guess, at the meandering pace I walked to get ducky towel and there you were saying it again with a broad smile on your face .“Mo-mee!”

“Yes Baby,” I retorted in glee.

And as I patted you dry, there – it took time to sink what I’d heard – “Mom”?

I’m a Mommy.

Watching you grow up this past year has been a vague impression because it zoomed by so fast .You’ve grown up so much, so quickly! It’s been tough for me to sustain everything in the memory bank. One moment you were wobbly on your feet and the next you were running through the house like the naughtiest boy ever. It’s so tough to recall the days when you were still or in a stationary condition.

You went to your bed one night, hardly uttering any words and woke up the next morning with words blowing up from your mouth like you will never stop. “Atta”, “Chuchu”, “Kaakku”,”MeeMee” “Naani”,”Daadu”. You said it all – except for “Mom”. You eagerly want to know everything – what’s this called, how do we operate this and thereby how do we break this! You won’t know, how pompous, we - as parents, feel to see you repeat the words we tell you.

With these pristine words of yours has come a serious case of tot‘tude. Now you say “No, no” while doing something mommy daddy would not like you to do, teasing us in the effort. You say “Daa-ddy” pointing towards the man you enjoy being with – your father. And now, I know you’re just exploring your little world, seeking to find your own sense of balance over the petite things, so I cut you some slack sometimes.

You need abundant of hugs during the day. You are most happy playing on momma’s tummy or jumping on daddy’s shoulders. Many a time you also need some middle of the night hugs, especially when you are unwell like these days. It breaks my heart to see you in pain.

In the past one year you’ve made me a mother and even taught me how to be one. I’m gratified that you love me unconditionally and the way you love me more than I love myself. Even when I have had a chaotic, tiresome, awful, no-good, really bad day, you still come running to me saying “Maa-mee!” waiting for me to take you in my arms and snuggle you tightly.

I wondered in case I forgot to tell you that in the middle of the “don’ts” and “no’s” and “stop’s” in our hectic day with each other, I must say, “I love you” to the boy who makes my world more livable, and being so special as my first-born.

Ahaan, I love you. Much more than you can ever imagine. And I will forever love you. Regardless of anything. There is absolutely nothing you could do in this life that would make mommy not love you. Ever.

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