Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Desi - Phorren Wannabes


Of late I have been coming across many Indians in US, who after living here for a few years have conveniently started considering themselves as Americans – or in Desi Indian terminology - “Amreekans”. So they were rewarded the opportunity to travel and work abroad based on their merits and skills – achievement ? Agreed. So they have settled in the comfort of the amenities provided by the most powerful country? Acceptable. Being ashamed of your own traditions and culture in the quest to be a Roman in Rome? Deplorable. It’s these self loathing phorren returned people that annoy me most and that’s what made me write this post.

I know many people who feel that accruing an NRI status is a symbol of great smugness and pride– well, after being denoted as an NRI myself, after staying is US, for about 3 years, I feel this is practically like being an Indian far away from your home - just an extravagant and pompous term.

Long long ago – there were only a chosen few who went abroad ( phorren) and were termed as NRIs - Older generations of NRIs were the devoted kinds. The kinds who dreamt of broad blue Indian skies (and the periodic complementary bird shit), of green fields and hot spice samosa and Indian Food Thaalis (plate). They longed for the classic Indian feel and not just to clog their albums with ‘Pics of an Indian Trip to Exotic places”.

Well, that was some decades ago, when Rajnikanth hadn’t started using wigs yet, when he was still the Hero of each of his film…Oh well, wait? Isn’t he still doing that infact? Let me rephrase - when Rajnikanth hadn’t turned to wigs yet.

The past generations of NRIs toiled hard to ensure that Indian-ness thrived in their homes, no matter how far they were from their motherland.

Coming to the existing circumstances – Several NRI parents are on a systematic invasion to abolish any last indication of Indian-ness or Bhartiyata as we call it, in them and their successors down to the last melanin cell if that was really probable. ‘Passing on your tradition’ is a thing of the ancient times and something to be wobbled upon.

Just makes me wonder deeply upon this quandary and hence I collected three perceptive which pretty much recapitulate the condition.

(Disclaimer : I have randomly named the type of people I am referring to as Mr. and Mrs Patel. This post does not bear any resemblance or personal reference to any person/community living or dead)

‘A Woman, who is embarrassed of her tradition, has nothing in herself that she could take pride in.

The woman that we’re talking of here is an NRI-through-marital vow Mrs. Patel. She adorns her mangalsutra on a thick gold chain and still bows down to touch her in-laws’ feet, in respect, back home. She is often caught shopping at the local Indian grocery shop purchasing ‘sabzi’. Her teen son also tags alongwith her, wearing that everlastingly jaded look that teenagers manage to master. She is murmuring to herself contemplating which ‘aloos’ to select , directing her son she will cook ‘Pott-taye-toez’ (adds nasal twang so as to sound like a complete American) for dinner. However Mrs. Patel gives a frigid-nosed gawk to the deprived bachelor who risks asking her ‘Are you Indian Ma’am?’ and if she could direct him on which masala to choose? Everest or Ashoka’s? She quickly walks away looking as perturbed as if he had kicked off a conversation on the advantages of black vs. white lingerie.

‘Children who do not know their mother tongue, are better off without their mother’.

The family we’re referring to here is Mr. and Mrs. Patel and Patel Junior at an Indian gathering. Somebody from the guests randomly questions something in Hindi to the son, extracting a void look. I wonder how does not knowing how to converse in your own mother tongue become an accomplishment. Such bare looks on the son’s face are backed up by a loving mess up of his grass like glued to the gel hair and acceptable nods from Mommy Patel. Typically the on the exterior proud Mommy Patel will snigger gently and assert, “Aah! All his friends at school are Americans you see?!”. What I am wondering here is – what about his parents?

No one expects you to memorize and narrate the Sanskrit shlokas, but being aware of the customary small talks is the least Mr and Mrs. P could educate their child.

‘People who speak via their nose, must have a truly unattractive mouth’.

When you begin swapping your kesari bhath in the breakfast with cereals and oatmeal then that’s termed as being prudent and cuts down on your cholesterol. But when you begin conversing suddenly through your nose, then that can be either severe influence of Himesh Reshammiya’s nasal twang or you are transforming into just another aspirant with an infuriating accent.

Accommodating and accepting other cultures is a fantastic symbol of camaraderie and brotherhood but spurning your own roots and seeking to be what you are not is a brilliant symbol of foolishness. You decide.

The fact is - If you’re a wannabe today, you will remain a wannabe for many many moons to come.


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