I love applying sindoor (vermilion powder put on the hair parting by Indian Women in hair as a symbol of marriage) on the temple and filling the hair parting with it. The Indian culture also has tittle-tattles about how one can purposely let some of this stunning cherry powder drop on the nose since that signifies a devoted husband. The legend has it the term originated from the light of India which implies "Sindh ka noor". A symbol of the light in the life of Indian woman's life.
So why do women wear these emblems of marriage - sindoor, mangalsutra, bangles, bichia ( toe ring ), paayal etc? To prove and demonstrate they are wedded. So Why do they feel the need to ‘exhibit’ or proclaim they are married?
My question is - Are customary marriage emblems just a mere label that interprets 'unavailable ‘or is there more to it? Here's what ‘ek chutki sindoor’ implies for me.
I don't exactly recall when this happened, but over the years in the past 4 years of married life, I do not feel the need of these peripheral tokens of marriage. I now feel I am a wife - mother - a daughter-in-law and a married daughter and I no more feel like Mansi Chitranshi - wavering my single status. What is rather more bewildering, this transformation in fact feels nice.
However, it’s a strange row to walk, clutching on some superstitions and dumping others -- all for no particular motive. I know that many friends find these customary practices preposterous and futile particularly given my cryptic preference of which to preserve and which to abandon, but I find myself pursuing this code of conduct by preference, since it makes sense to me. So, I put on sindoor, wear my wedding ring and also my mangalsutra ( occasionally) for the reason that it reminds me of Anshul when I am conscious of it but I liberally admit I'm happy I no more feel like I'm betting with his life should I take it off and forget to wear it someday due to some reason.
The urban prodigies of the 21st century articulate something else however. It is now an individual choice. The choice of donning marriage symbols should be left to the couple.
The crux of this blogpost is that the superlative way to demonstrate everybody you are married - if you have to - is to work at your matrimony and make endeavors to make it a contented one. What’s the point in wearing these marriage symbols if you are discontented with your marriage or busy betraying on your husband, or if you are in the marriage only because of conciliation. Live your life in its totality, not via marriage symbols. With time, the worth of these symbols has reduced. And matrimony is more than just a symbol -isn't it?
The Indian Manusmriti has answers?
“Ishtar ka aasirwad hota hai ek chutki sindoor, suhagan ke sarr ka taj hota hai, ek chutki sindoor, har aurat ka khawb hota hai ek chutki sindoor…”
Well, Bollywood has some answers too!
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1 comment:
its funny i am actually writing this down, but before G and I were married, i tried putting a little lipstick on my forehead to see how i look :) and decided for myself that, well it looks nice.
3.5 years into marriage, it has'nt changed, i love the way it makes me feel, and a sense of "bliss" everytime i apply it hurridly rushing to work. Of course there are days i forget.
i really dont buy the logic of long life and loyalty :)but i'll confess, i like it when the sindoor falls on my nose ;)or the mehendi comes out dark :)
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